Just don't listen to the doubters, man. Just believe in me and you'll see. It's simpler than you think.
There's a tendency to blame people for their own circumstances. But sometimes there are black swans (anomalies). My career began with a black swan...A sociopath producer (who shall remain nameless) on my first "calling card" film who fucked that project out of spite... even though a producer connected to Cronenberg was willing to fund completion of it. (It's a long story... If you want I can send you a reference about that sociopath. He recently got involved in a friend's project and AGAIN tried to fuck someone over...)
When I studied preventable deaths in disasters the same pattern came through. People don't die because of failures of responders - because firefighters, doctors, nurses, etc are lazy, fraudulent or incompetent. NO! More often preventable deaths happen because of circular thinking and dumb reasons... Somebody got parked over there and someone else thought they were supposed to deal with them, but the other guy assumed the first one was supposed to deal with them...etc... Dumb reasons. Falling through the cracks. Easy-to-fix things. It's the same dynamic with my career. It began with a black swan event.
And black swans happen. Go look at the news: it's full of black swans.
I'm not a fraud artist or crazy. Even though I'm disabled, the disability is depression and anxiety (I'm not psychotic or schizophrenic or whatever...). I have no criminal record. I'm not violent.
I'm not incompetent. That's an assumption or a hypothesis... but any detective work you do will demolish that theory instantly. But you have to do the detective work.
(Though I will admit, I have lacked social skills. But as I've gotten older I've learned a lot more about that now.)
I'm not successful now because nobody ever went the distance with me. That's all. It's as simple as that. I keep running up against others' circular-thinking. I was under-capitalized my entire life, and then I slipped into depression and soon I stopped asking anymore, because everyone I approached thought in circles. When everyone looks at me they get caught in the circular thinking "If he was any good, he would have succeeded by now..." Assumptions! (How do I know this? Nobody ever asked me "What happened to you...?") And because they say that THEY don't back me and then the next guy says the same thing and it just spirals on like that. The same dynamic that causes preventable deaths in disasters. Vicious circular thinking.
Just take a deep breath, do the detective work and look at my portfolio. Go to XFunc.com and look at my portfolio. Every time I've had the opportunity to do good work, I've done it! I have projects on there that I did on a shoestring budget, and they look awesome. (I've had players come to me and say that my Alien Swarm campaign, Reduction, is better than the original campaign by Valve! And Valve is one of the best game studios in the world!) I have continued to create and to believe in my creativity. I've continued to work, self-financed, as much as I can. I have produced work even in the face of all of this. Imagine what I can do with REAL support. With real investment.
I will kick ass if I can finally get someone to go the distance with me.
Just look at my portfolio and see the quality of it. That's all that matters.
And be my friend, bro. Because I need friends.
There's a tendency to blame people for their own circumstances. But sometimes there are black swans (anomalies). My career began with a black swan...A sociopath producer (who shall remain nameless) on my first "calling card" film who fucked that project out of spite... even though a producer connected to Cronenberg was willing to fund completion of it. (It's a long story... If you want I can send you a reference about that sociopath. He recently got involved in a friend's project and AGAIN tried to fuck someone over...)
When I studied preventable deaths in disasters the same pattern came through. People don't die because of failures of responders - because firefighters, doctors, nurses, etc are lazy, fraudulent or incompetent. NO! More often preventable deaths happen because of circular thinking and dumb reasons... Somebody got parked over there and someone else thought they were supposed to deal with them, but the other guy assumed the first one was supposed to deal with them...etc... Dumb reasons. Falling through the cracks. Easy-to-fix things. It's the same dynamic with my career. It began with a black swan event.
And black swans happen. Go look at the news: it's full of black swans.
I'm not a fraud artist or crazy. Even though I'm disabled, the disability is depression and anxiety (I'm not psychotic or schizophrenic or whatever...). I have no criminal record. I'm not violent.
I'm not incompetent. That's an assumption or a hypothesis... but any detective work you do will demolish that theory instantly. But you have to do the detective work.
(Though I will admit, I have lacked social skills. But as I've gotten older I've learned a lot more about that now.)
I'm not successful now because nobody ever went the distance with me. That's all. It's as simple as that. I keep running up against others' circular-thinking. I was under-capitalized my entire life, and then I slipped into depression and soon I stopped asking anymore, because everyone I approached thought in circles. When everyone looks at me they get caught in the circular thinking "If he was any good, he would have succeeded by now..." Assumptions! (How do I know this? Nobody ever asked me "What happened to you...?") And because they say that THEY don't back me and then the next guy says the same thing and it just spirals on like that. The same dynamic that causes preventable deaths in disasters. Vicious circular thinking.
Just take a deep breath, do the detective work and look at my portfolio. Go to XFunc.com and look at my portfolio. Every time I've had the opportunity to do good work, I've done it! I have projects on there that I did on a shoestring budget, and they look awesome. (I've had players come to me and say that my Alien Swarm campaign, Reduction, is better than the original campaign by Valve! And Valve is one of the best game studios in the world!) I have continued to create and to believe in my creativity. I've continued to work, self-financed, as much as I can. I have produced work even in the face of all of this. Imagine what I can do with REAL support. With real investment.
I will kick ass if I can finally get someone to go the distance with me.
Just look at my portfolio and see the quality of it. That's all that matters.
And be my friend, bro. Because I need friends.
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